The Burnt Toast Theory
There are many things that go unplanned and seemingly wrong in our lives. But what if some of those unwanted events were actually a blessing in disguise?
This is the Burnt Toast Theory, popularized on social media, suggesting that sometimes seemingly “bad” or unwanted things happen (like burnt toast) that may carry a silver lining - oftentimes one that we are not aware of until later on. For example, you accidentally burn your toast in the morning, forcing you to have to be creative and come up with something else to eat. In the process, you discover an even better meal that you love.
The Burnt Toast Theory also proposes that small setbacks or inconveniences in life could even be protecting or saving you from something that you don’t yet see. For example, perhaps you find a nail in your car tire, making it impossible for you to go out to visit a friend that day.
Later on you discover there were major traffic delays and cars backed up for hours on the very route that you would have been on had you been able to drive your car.
If this theory sounds a little far-fetched, another way of stating it could be that God/Source/Universe may be looking out for us when small inconveniences occur.
Here are some other examples of how the Burnt Toast Theory might play out in your life:
You are running late for an appointment that you end up missing. You stop at a coffee shop you don’t normally frequent instead and end up bumping into an old friend that you lost touch with. If you hadn’t missed your appointment, you never would have been able to reconnect with this friend.
Or perhaps you get turned down for a job you really wanted but later on are hired for a position that you like even better and that pays more money. If you hadn’t been turned down for the first position, you never would have been looking for the opportunity you got.
This scenario happened to me back when I was a teacher, prior to getting into counseling. I had applied for a position which I really wanted teaching kindergarten and was crushed when the job went to someone else. I ended up taking a different position teaching 3rd grade and was not enjoying my first couple weeks. Something miraculous happened after that though - I ended up being transferred to another school and into an even better teaching position than the kindergarten job I had wanted. I never would have gotten that opportunity had I been picked for my original first choice job. In hindsight I felt very thankful for events happening the way they did.
In my practice, many times something has gotten cancelled or rescheduled on my calendar that often ended up working out for the best for both of us, freeing up some much-needed time for me to rest or call a friend who needed a listening ear.
I have more serendipitous experiences like this that will be shared in my upcoming book.
A couple movies you may have heard of that demonstrate the Burnt Toast Theory playing out are Soul (2020) and The Pursuit of Happyness (2006).
How can the Burnt Toast Theory help you?
The power of this theory lies in its ability to encourage resilience, a more open, positive mindset and greater patience. When small things go seemingly wrong in your life, instead of getting worked up and dwelling on the issue, you can still forge ahead and be open to the possibility of beneficial aspects that you may not yet see. It helps you to more easily let go of the small stuff with an element of trust and faith that a positive outcome may still come from this regardless.
This theory isn't about denying your frustration or feelings of disappointment when things don’t work out. After all, not everything that goes wrong always works out in our favor. When we put too much pressure on ourselves to focus only on the good that may come from something going wrong, we may risk trivializing major experiences including very traumatic ones.
The Burnt Toast Theory is more about being better equipped to handle life’s many small hiccups and annoyances. It’s about being open to the possibility that, as problematic or frustrating as something may appear, perhaps there is a hidden benefit that will be realized about this setback in time. It’s about keeping an open mind and acknowledging that maybe things could still be working for you in ways you do not yet understand.
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